When Enough is Actually Enough

This concept has been taking up a lot of space in my head and heart over the past few months. I’m keenly aware of why: I’ve always been a high-functioning, high-performing woman who takes a lot of pride in my “output” as a human AND who recently gave up the norms and structure of my highly productive lifestyle in pursuit of a slower way of living and of BEING vs. doing. And I have this deeply instilled belief that my value is rooted in my productivity, so the transition to doing less has been a rockier transition than I anticipated, if I’m honest with you. And so there are many moments that pop up throughout my day where I’m questioning whether or not I’m doing enough.

I was in yoga this week and during shavasana, rather than focusing on my breath and deeply relaxing, what was running through my mind was, “I should write a book. I really shouldn’t let this travel year experience go to waste. I wish I would have documented it better. I don’t want it to all be for nothing.” (Yes, I actually said the words in my head, “I shouldn’t let this year GO TO WASTE.” Feel free to punch me in the arm next time you see me.) And then a few tears started to run down my face as I visualized myself shaking myself by the shoulders and saying, “It’s enough! What you’re doing is enough. You are enough.”

For the first time in my life, I feel like I have space in my soul and heart from nurturing friendships, to look my daughters in the eyes while we play, to conversate with my husband while we cook a nutritious dinner, to lead clients into deeper transformation and shifts in their lives. But the way I used to function was so crammed full - schedule wise AND energy wise - that really what it was was on the verge of burnout. And it was driven by this inherited belief I have that my value as a person is rooted in how much more I can do.

I sense it’s relatable for many of you. Maybe it’s not about writing a book, but maybe you’ve had the thought, “I should be doing more” or “I should be working harder” or “I should lose 15 pounds” or “I should be further along in my career by now.”

And when we hear ourselves thinking or saying the word SHOULD, it’s an opportunity for us to check in with ourselves to find out the root of where that should is coming from. Is it coming from choice and authenticity? Is it connected to our values in some way? Is it something we genuinely and authentically want?

Or, is it coming from our ego or from a place of obligation? Is it rooted in judgement of ourselves or an inherited belief or old pattern? It’s moments like these especially when having these life tools are so important and so valuable.

And so for me - and I’ll offer this to you as well - when a thought with the word should creeps in, I’ll be trying to replace ‘should’ with COULD, to see how that feels in my body.

“I could write a book” feels a lot more empowering and in choice for me than “I should write a book.” And maybe I will or maybe I won’t. That’s for me to determine if it’s an authentic choice or not. Because I know what I’m doing right now in this moment is actually enough.